Sat in the college study room, attempting some long overdue essays, I can't keep my mind from wandering. So I'm back to the blog.
A busy term has meant that not a single blog has been posted since the start of October; and with Christmas and New Year dawning, and then the start of exam season, the literate drought seems set to continue.
According to popular opinion, the world is planning on ending in 2012. To those of you believing this, I'd like to offer some words of encouragement.
"Get some perspective"
For one, when you're still around in 2013, hung-over on new years day, remembering how badly Great Britain did in the olympics; moreover, how terribly we hosted it, you'll realise it was a farce. A farce that has been tried every year since the dawn of philosophy.
Secondly, even if it were to happen, what could you do about it? Short of designing a bio-dome system and migrating to a distant constellation, there's not much that you can do to avoid your demise. And so why waste your precious 3 years worrying?
-
Is there anything in the world now that doesn't have a group on facebook?
Some of may favourite idiotic groups have included the ridiculous "Skip school day" and "If X number of people join, I will name my son Batman", for which I have seen no evidence, despite gaining double the required number of members. The most stupid and absurd group so far, however, was "If 1,170,000 people join, my girlfriend will marry me." After a million people, this group was closed down after the blokes girlfriend, along with two other people in his friend list with the same name, recieved inordinate amounts of hate mail from pathetic facebook users.
"If one million monkeys were given a computer, they would eventually write out the entire works of shakespeare." It's safe to say that the internet has proved this untrue.
X
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Saturday, 10 October 2009
I’m Back.
After an absence of over two months, I have returned to the world of blogging. Hopefully regularly.
Since my last post, the summer happened. As did the return to school and a large number of events attached to both. I won’t talk about these.
Instead I’ll devote this blog to the subject of driving.
Since my last blog, I have started driving and have discovered three things:
First: When put in a car, everyone becomes a bastard. I know I’m not a skilled and knowledgeable driver yet, but I can bloody well tell when someone does something terrible on the road. For example, that blind and stupid 4x4 driver who cut me up on the A381, subsequently receiving a long blast of the Suzuki Swift’s horn, delivered by my driving instructor. Who was in fact sat in the passenger seat.
Second: Towns are dangerous and confusing places. Enter with caution.
Third: Even when faced with a convoy of three cars, fronted by a learner driver, in a car with a 3ft triangle plastered in red “L”s on the roof. Grockels will not reverse 50 yards down a country lane to a passing place. And will happily force aforementioned learner and accomplices to reverse for several hundred miles, so that they do not have to scratch their BMW in the hedge.
I knew Grockels were stupid, lazy and irritating, but that takes it to the extreme.
x
Monday, 3 August 2009
A glimpse of life.
Again, stumbleupon came up trumps a couple of weeks ago, when i stumbled across a trailer for a book.
The book is called "Not quite what I was planning - Six word memoirs by writers famous and obscure". It started as a project on twitter, with users all over the world writing a six-word story about their life. After watching, I promptly bought the book and here are some of my favourites:
After Harvard, had baby with crackhead. - Robin Templeton
I still make coffee for two. - Zak Nelson
Living for Jesus because earth sucks. - Johnny Johnson
Should have learned to count. - David Wheatley
dam smart - never lerned to spel. - Rachel Ehrlich
Fifteen years since last professional haircut. - Dave Eggers
Revenge is living well, without you. - Joyce Carol Oates
Secret of life: Marry an Italian. - Nora Ephron
These little bits of peoples lives, or a whole life summed up in so small a sentence has inspired me. I've been writing some of my own:
Found Love, wasn't what I expected.
Glimpsed a life, never seen again.
-
That second story, I came up with while thinking about all the people I've met on trains and buses. I often have small conversations, or help people out with luggage troubles, or even just ask a stranger if they mind me closing a window. In these moments, I've seen a tiny part of a whole life, that I'll never see again, or see any more of. Sometimes, it's the smallest of things. Other times, I can guess at huge amounts of who the person is and what they're doing. Mostly, it's great to impact in someones life, just to make them smile for five minutes or think a little bit. And it's even greater to have them do it back to me.
Almost every train or bus journey I make now, I'm truely humbled.
Think about it.
x
The book is called "Not quite what I was planning - Six word memoirs by writers famous and obscure". It started as a project on twitter, with users all over the world writing a six-word story about their life. After watching, I promptly bought the book and here are some of my favourites:
After Harvard, had baby with crackhead. - Robin Templeton
I still make coffee for two. - Zak Nelson
Living for Jesus because earth sucks. - Johnny Johnson
Should have learned to count. - David Wheatley
dam smart - never lerned to spel. - Rachel Ehrlich
Fifteen years since last professional haircut. - Dave Eggers
Revenge is living well, without you. - Joyce Carol Oates
Secret of life: Marry an Italian. - Nora Ephron
These little bits of peoples lives, or a whole life summed up in so small a sentence has inspired me. I've been writing some of my own:
Found Love, wasn't what I expected.
Glimpsed a life, never seen again.
-
That second story, I came up with while thinking about all the people I've met on trains and buses. I often have small conversations, or help people out with luggage troubles, or even just ask a stranger if they mind me closing a window. In these moments, I've seen a tiny part of a whole life, that I'll never see again, or see any more of. Sometimes, it's the smallest of things. Other times, I can guess at huge amounts of who the person is and what they're doing. Mostly, it's great to impact in someones life, just to make them smile for five minutes or think a little bit. And it's even greater to have them do it back to me.
Almost every train or bus journey I make now, I'm truely humbled.
Think about it.
x
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
The Consumer Religion
After a two week absence from the blog, I'm back. This time with a short something to ponder over; here goes:
Consumer glory, fed by the patience of the people.
Merciful conglomerates oversee the seething digital market place.
A raging tide of red figures parts for a retail prophet to lead an army of bidders and investers for whom there seems little else but the cash in their pockets and the wealth they seek.
Blind are they to the affairs that really govern this world and to the condemning forces that overwhelm their own imagined microcosm.
This is their religion, this is their consumate legacy.
Is this really what the world's come to?
Forgetting the importance of the now ordinary concepts of love and family, of sanctity and faith and of pleasure in these things has become the norm.
Once wrapped up so tight, it's difficult to unravel the fabric that holds the greed in place.
This is their religion, this is their consumate legacy.
x
Consumer glory, fed by the patience of the people.
Merciful conglomerates oversee the seething digital market place.
A raging tide of red figures parts for a retail prophet to lead an army of bidders and investers for whom there seems little else but the cash in their pockets and the wealth they seek.
Blind are they to the affairs that really govern this world and to the condemning forces that overwhelm their own imagined microcosm.
This is their religion, this is their consumate legacy.
Is this really what the world's come to?
Forgetting the importance of the now ordinary concepts of love and family, of sanctity and faith and of pleasure in these things has become the norm.
Once wrapped up so tight, it's difficult to unravel the fabric that holds the greed in place.
This is their religion, this is their consumate legacy.
x
Sunday, 5 July 2009
The longest day
I promised myself I wouldn't do this. Everyone's blogs are about their lifes and I wanted mine to be a little different. Just my perspective on the world, as it were.
But this is different.
In the early hours of Sunday 5th July, Jamie Baker, Tom Capewell and a young boy named Noah lost their lives after a car crash.
I found out about the crash at 12:45am on the morning of sunday 5th. I was asked to pray, being told they were all alive and talking with some injuries, so I prayed for a swift recovery and for them to be comforted and went to sleep. It had sounded like they would be ok.
I woke up at 8 o clock to two text messages. One recieved at 1:21am, telling me that Jamie and one of the other boys had died, not knowing if it was Tj or Noah. Then at 5:47am, confirming that all three boys had tragically passed away.
Tj was 17, hoping to start driving soon. Although he and I had our ups and downs, when starting at secondary school, we had been close friends. We joined the same youth group, and shared many incredible, funny and interesting memories.
Jamie was a cheeky, silly guy, always wanting a laugh. Always looking for more out of life. He was known for his long hair and for doing things that other people would consider too dangerous or frightful to do themselves.
I didn't know Noah, being only 8 years old.
Today has been the longest day of my life. A puzzle of remorse, confusion, sadness and sympathy. The reality hasn't sunk in, and I'm dreading the day at school tomorrow.
I remember looking around the sixth form centre, after something my cousin had said in a similar situation. "I thought to myself that some of these guys might not make it to their 21st birthday, maybe not even until they're 18." As morbid as it was, I realised that not everyone in the room would marry and have children. Least of all, did I expect Tom to be that one, nor Jamie.
The guys were vibrant and seemed to have a surplus of life, like it wouldn't run out.
I, personally, will remember these two guys for the light they brought into my life and the lives of my friends.
Have a large one on me boys. See you in a while.
x
But this is different.
In the early hours of Sunday 5th July, Jamie Baker, Tom Capewell and a young boy named Noah lost their lives after a car crash.
I found out about the crash at 12:45am on the morning of sunday 5th. I was asked to pray, being told they were all alive and talking with some injuries, so I prayed for a swift recovery and for them to be comforted and went to sleep. It had sounded like they would be ok.
I woke up at 8 o clock to two text messages. One recieved at 1:21am, telling me that Jamie and one of the other boys had died, not knowing if it was Tj or Noah. Then at 5:47am, confirming that all three boys had tragically passed away.
Tj was 17, hoping to start driving soon. Although he and I had our ups and downs, when starting at secondary school, we had been close friends. We joined the same youth group, and shared many incredible, funny and interesting memories.
Jamie was a cheeky, silly guy, always wanting a laugh. Always looking for more out of life. He was known for his long hair and for doing things that other people would consider too dangerous or frightful to do themselves.
I didn't know Noah, being only 8 years old.
Today has been the longest day of my life. A puzzle of remorse, confusion, sadness and sympathy. The reality hasn't sunk in, and I'm dreading the day at school tomorrow.
I remember looking around the sixth form centre, after something my cousin had said in a similar situation. "I thought to myself that some of these guys might not make it to their 21st birthday, maybe not even until they're 18." As morbid as it was, I realised that not everyone in the room would marry and have children. Least of all, did I expect Tom to be that one, nor Jamie.
The guys were vibrant and seemed to have a surplus of life, like it wouldn't run out.
I, personally, will remember these two guys for the light they brought into my life and the lives of my friends.
Have a large one on me boys. See you in a while.
x
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Orgies, The Mona Lisa and OCD.
On my travels through the internet this evening, several interesting things caught my attention.
Orgies began as religious events, originating in Greece, by way of an offering to the Gods.
Studies have proven that it is harder to tell a convincing lie to someone that you find sexually attractive.
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows - Check it out.
The Nazi SS uniforms were designed by Hugo Boss.
80% of all pictures on the internet are of naked women.
Fascinating.
-
I've recently heard of many people's strange obsessive compulsive habits.
Mine personally is that the duvet must be exactly in the middle of bed. Ie, the exact same length dangling off each side.
Comment me with yours :)
x
Orgies began as religious events, originating in Greece, by way of an offering to the Gods.
Studies have proven that it is harder to tell a convincing lie to someone that you find sexually attractive.
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows - Check it out.
The Nazi SS uniforms were designed by Hugo Boss.
80% of all pictures on the internet are of naked women.
Fascinating.
-
I've recently heard of many people's strange obsessive compulsive habits.
Mine personally is that the duvet must be exactly in the middle of bed. Ie, the exact same length dangling off each side.
Comment me with yours :)
x
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Political Correctness
I start with "Brainstorm". This has been added to the list of politically incorrect words because epileptic people don't like this word used to describe a mindmap.
A friend of mine was recently incredibly hesitant at describing a man as black, so as I'd know who the man was. He was afraid to be classed as a racist.
"Bum" has been replaced by "Homeless person" and "Foreign food" by "Ethnic cuisine". It's now wrong to utter the word "Criminal", the correct term is "An Unsavoury Character"! A "Sex change" must technically be called a "Gender reassignment".
Other words that we're not allowed, or simply to afraid, to use include:
Rubbish man, Ghetto, Crazy, Housewife, Immigrants, Midget, Fairy, Poof, Camp and Prostitute.
As mentioned previously, the words "Black" and "White" are quickly becoming unacceptable, which will make it very difficult for coffee loving PC citizens. Even the American "Founding Fathers" have been renamed to just "The founders", for sexism reasons.
Politcal correctness has gone mad! Soon we'll have to say "Visually challenged" instead of "Ugly" and "Follicularly Challenge" instead of "Bald". Forget using the term "Fat" because "Differently weighted" is much less offensive apparently.
For your information, I'm a religiously minded person of English decent who works as a Kitchen Hygeine Officer. Quite catchy, isn't it? Sort of... Rolls off the toungue. Much easier than White Christian dish pig.
x
A friend of mine was recently incredibly hesitant at describing a man as black, so as I'd know who the man was. He was afraid to be classed as a racist.
"Bum" has been replaced by "Homeless person" and "Foreign food" by "Ethnic cuisine". It's now wrong to utter the word "Criminal", the correct term is "An Unsavoury Character"! A "Sex change" must technically be called a "Gender reassignment".
Other words that we're not allowed, or simply to afraid, to use include:
Rubbish man, Ghetto, Crazy, Housewife, Immigrants, Midget, Fairy, Poof, Camp and Prostitute.
As mentioned previously, the words "Black" and "White" are quickly becoming unacceptable, which will make it very difficult for coffee loving PC citizens. Even the American "Founding Fathers" have been renamed to just "The founders", for sexism reasons.
Politcal correctness has gone mad! Soon we'll have to say "Visually challenged" instead of "Ugly" and "Follicularly Challenge" instead of "Bald". Forget using the term "Fat" because "Differently weighted" is much less offensive apparently.
For your information, I'm a religiously minded person of English decent who works as a Kitchen Hygeine Officer. Quite catchy, isn't it? Sort of... Rolls off the toungue. Much easier than White Christian dish pig.
x
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