I start with "Brainstorm". This has been added to the list of politically incorrect words because epileptic people don't like this word used to describe a mindmap.
A friend of mine was recently incredibly hesitant at describing a man as black, so as I'd know who the man was. He was afraid to be classed as a racist.
"Bum" has been replaced by "Homeless person" and "Foreign food" by "Ethnic cuisine". It's now wrong to utter the word "Criminal", the correct term is "An Unsavoury Character"! A "Sex change" must technically be called a "Gender reassignment".
Other words that we're not allowed, or simply to afraid, to use include:
Rubbish man, Ghetto, Crazy, Housewife, Immigrants, Midget, Fairy, Poof, Camp and Prostitute.
As mentioned previously, the words "Black" and "White" are quickly becoming unacceptable, which will make it very difficult for coffee loving PC citizens. Even the American "Founding Fathers" have been renamed to just "The founders", for sexism reasons.
Politcal correctness has gone mad! Soon we'll have to say "Visually challenged" instead of "Ugly" and "Follicularly Challenge" instead of "Bald". Forget using the term "Fat" because "Differently weighted" is much less offensive apparently.
For your information, I'm a religiously minded person of English decent who works as a Kitchen Hygeine Officer. Quite catchy, isn't it? Sort of... Rolls off the toungue. Much easier than White Christian dish pig.
x
Wednesday 24 June 2009
Tuesday 16 June 2009
Winnie-the-pooh
I've found a load of quotes from Winnie-the-pooh, and because I didn't believe that half of them were from Pooh bear, I checked. The following selection of my favourites all come from the mind of A.A. Milne.
"If there's a buzzing-noise, somebody's making a buzzing-noise, and the only reason for making a buzzing-noise that I know of is because you're a bee."
“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”
“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”
“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.”
I thought you needed to read them. May joy be unconfined to you.
x
"If there's a buzzing-noise, somebody's making a buzzing-noise, and the only reason for making a buzzing-noise that I know of is because you're a bee."
“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"”
“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”
“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.”
I thought you needed to read them. May joy be unconfined to you.
x
Sunday 14 June 2009
The thing about beauty
I've been pondering "What is beauty?". We can all tell the hot girl from the crowd, or look at a guy and say he's good looking. But when it gets down to it, what is beauty?
The Collins English Dictionary defines it as this:
"The combination of all the qualities of a person or thing that delight the senses and please the mind."
Now, it'd be very cliched of me to tell you that true beauty comes from within, so for now, I won't. Although, I do generally believe that. But beauty on the outside is what I'm currently thinking about and it's a fragile thing. Beauty is not a concept that holds fast across geographical borders or time. A mauritanian is likely to find a large, plump woman attractive. Whereas, it seems in the western cultures, visible ribs and hip bones is what gets men dizzy. Japanese geishas paint their faces a brilliant white and are viewed as the most beautiful citizens. For many african tribes, lip stretching is seen as a sign of value in a woman and the larger the lip plate, the more cows they are worth. In the Kayan tribe of thailand, an artificially elongated neck is the ideal of beauty.
The culture in which you live seems to dictate what a person will find physically attractive and also, the extent to which beauty is emphasised.
If you roll back the clocks to the era of Elizabeth I, woman were plucking back their hair lines to create a larger forehead and drawing veins on their chests to give the impression of translucent skin. And if you look at what is revered as beauty by today's standards, the change is dramatic.
For me?
Beauty is tall and blonde with blue eyes, a good bum and a cracking smile.
x
The Collins English Dictionary defines it as this:
"The combination of all the qualities of a person or thing that delight the senses and please the mind."
Now, it'd be very cliched of me to tell you that true beauty comes from within, so for now, I won't. Although, I do generally believe that. But beauty on the outside is what I'm currently thinking about and it's a fragile thing. Beauty is not a concept that holds fast across geographical borders or time. A mauritanian is likely to find a large, plump woman attractive. Whereas, it seems in the western cultures, visible ribs and hip bones is what gets men dizzy. Japanese geishas paint their faces a brilliant white and are viewed as the most beautiful citizens. For many african tribes, lip stretching is seen as a sign of value in a woman and the larger the lip plate, the more cows they are worth. In the Kayan tribe of thailand, an artificially elongated neck is the ideal of beauty.
The culture in which you live seems to dictate what a person will find physically attractive and also, the extent to which beauty is emphasised.
If you roll back the clocks to the era of Elizabeth I, woman were plucking back their hair lines to create a larger forehead and drawing veins on their chests to give the impression of translucent skin. And if you look at what is revered as beauty by today's standards, the change is dramatic.
For me?
Beauty is tall and blonde with blue eyes, a good bum and a cracking smile.
x
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Kings and Extreme Pooch
It's widely believed that light is the fastest thing in the universe. I, however, disagree with this. I think that Monarchy, the state of being a monarch, is faster than Light.
The reasoning behind it is this:
There cannot be more than one king or queen and tradition dictates that there be no gap between the reign of one king or queen and the next. So, when a monarch dies, the succession must therefore pass to their heir instantaneously.
Presumably, there must be some elementary particles - kingons, or possibly queenons - that do this job. However, succession can sometimes fail if, mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon.
It may be possible to send messages using these particles, modulating the signal by torturing a small king. Although, it's not advised because this would be treason.
-
I saw on the news the other day, a dog that can genuinely skateboard. Frankly, I'm amazed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziDeUbifKIM
http://www.skateboardingbulldog.com/
x
The reasoning behind it is this:
There cannot be more than one king or queen and tradition dictates that there be no gap between the reign of one king or queen and the next. So, when a monarch dies, the succession must therefore pass to their heir instantaneously.
Presumably, there must be some elementary particles - kingons, or possibly queenons - that do this job. However, succession can sometimes fail if, mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon.
It may be possible to send messages using these particles, modulating the signal by torturing a small king. Although, it's not advised because this would be treason.
-
I saw on the news the other day, a dog that can genuinely skateboard. Frankly, I'm amazed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziDeUbifKIM
http://www.skateboardingbulldog.com/
x
Saturday 6 June 2009
Olds and Kindness.
The truth is, I'm bored of the news. It's all become olds. In fact, it's always been olds. We've heard enough about the current financial climate and Politician's money to predict the progress of both for the next few weeks at least.
But really, I've noticed that the newspapers, especially local gazettes and village newsletters, only tell you about what you already know. A rundown of the music festivals, and a comentary on how terrible the floods have been would be sincerely interesting to me, had i not experienced them first hand. Along with the rest of the county.
I've also noticed that Newspapers tend to contain three things. They contain:
- Things that people are interested in
- Human interest stories
- and things that are in the public interest
The first of these is pretty self-explanatory, it's what people are interested in. The second is things that are interesting to humans, naturally gossip and such things.
The third, interestingly, are the things that no one is interested in.
-
Is it wrong to dream of a world, where people are unchained from the shackles of a melencholy, solitary existence; no longer moving from A to B without so much as a smile at one of the 6 billion people we share the planet with?
It'd be nice to be able to step onto a train, and say good morning the the person stood opposite you, or offer a sweet to the man who kindly allows you to sit next to him, without being considered a wierdo.
It'd also be nice for people to be nicer to one another, helping out to make someone's day a little easier. For example, helping a mother off a train with her child's push chair, or opening a door for someone carrying a heavy load.
Sometimes, it may be good to go out of your way. Buy a take-away coffee for the big issue seller, stood out in the pouring rain. Perhaps even go and talk to him. You never know, you may just make his day.
This is an initiative called "Acts of kindness". Even a tiny thing like a smile in the right place can improve a person's mood and even their whole day tenfold.
Do it! :)
x
But really, I've noticed that the newspapers, especially local gazettes and village newsletters, only tell you about what you already know. A rundown of the music festivals, and a comentary on how terrible the floods have been would be sincerely interesting to me, had i not experienced them first hand. Along with the rest of the county.
I've also noticed that Newspapers tend to contain three things. They contain:
- Things that people are interested in
- Human interest stories
- and things that are in the public interest
The first of these is pretty self-explanatory, it's what people are interested in. The second is things that are interesting to humans, naturally gossip and such things.
The third, interestingly, are the things that no one is interested in.
-
Is it wrong to dream of a world, where people are unchained from the shackles of a melencholy, solitary existence; no longer moving from A to B without so much as a smile at one of the 6 billion people we share the planet with?
It'd be nice to be able to step onto a train, and say good morning the the person stood opposite you, or offer a sweet to the man who kindly allows you to sit next to him, without being considered a wierdo.
It'd also be nice for people to be nicer to one another, helping out to make someone's day a little easier. For example, helping a mother off a train with her child's push chair, or opening a door for someone carrying a heavy load.
Sometimes, it may be good to go out of your way. Buy a take-away coffee for the big issue seller, stood out in the pouring rain. Perhaps even go and talk to him. You never know, you may just make his day.
This is an initiative called "Acts of kindness". Even a tiny thing like a smile in the right place can improve a person's mood and even their whole day tenfold.
Do it! :)
x
Tuesday 2 June 2009
"Just one more click..."
The Stumble upon phenomenon has been keeping me awake, yet again. This little green and blue button, innocent looking enough, is a sinister weapon devised by some internet genius to make people sleep later. I'm convinced of it.
For those of you who haven't yet experienced Stumble upon, I'll explain. It's a plugin downloadable to your internet browser, which gives you a tool bar, there are various options on this toolbar but the main feature is the button saying "Stumble!".
Clicking this button generates a random website, which can be preferenced or otherwise, which will help to give results you'll like more.
How can you get this you ask? Just google for "Stumble upon", easy peasy.
A word of warning. This is not for the faint of heart. Side affects of Stumble upon include:
-Late nights
-Grouchiness and mood swings
-Addiction
and can eventually lead to the development of "JOMCS" or "Just one more click syndrome". After telling yourself that you'll only click it once, just before you go to bed, you will be compelled to click it "Just once more" for the next hour. At least.
You have been warned.
Your nightmare begins now
x
For those of you who haven't yet experienced Stumble upon, I'll explain. It's a plugin downloadable to your internet browser, which gives you a tool bar, there are various options on this toolbar but the main feature is the button saying "Stumble!".
Clicking this button generates a random website, which can be preferenced or otherwise, which will help to give results you'll like more.
How can you get this you ask? Just google for "Stumble upon", easy peasy.
A word of warning. This is not for the faint of heart. Side affects of Stumble upon include:
-Late nights
-Grouchiness and mood swings
-Addiction
and can eventually lead to the development of "JOMCS" or "Just one more click syndrome". After telling yourself that you'll only click it once, just before you go to bed, you will be compelled to click it "Just once more" for the next hour. At least.
You have been warned.
Your nightmare begins now
x
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